Thursday, February 18, 2010

My Journey begins

Today I leave for Miami.  I look forward to spending the weekend with my friends and celebrating in the love between two people.  It is a formal affair in my mind.  A moment where I must be on my best behaviour and put my heart to my sleeve.  From Miami, though, I am going to Argentina, where family awaits me.  Buenos Aires is always an adventure and always booming with life and activity, but what I really look forward to is Catamarca.  Going to Catamarca is like going to another world.  It is as if time and space are operating at a different pace.  There the world rotates on an entirely different level.  It is slow, calm and peaceful.  The earth is wild and the air is filled with it's distinct smell.  Family is important, close, interactive.  Everything is one, connected in some beautiful, awe inspiring way.  The animals roam free and instinctively come home.  They are loving, protective, and cautious.  The warmth engulfs you, and the breeze kisses your skin with its sweet sighs and quiet caresses.  The river is a calm, cool, sparkling beacon that calls softly to every creature within its wide distance.  I long to be there already.  To sit by the babbling stream of water at its edge and take it all in.  To feel the heat fill my body with warm tenderness.  To watch the magnificent horses with all their colors and strength, dip their heads for a sip and stride, proudly on.  There are cows, sheep, and pigs too.  Everything seems to roam so freely so wild and alive.  There is nothing to do but relax, connect, and energize!  Going to Catamarca is like coming up from the deep ocean with all its dangerous pressures and taking in a deep, long awaited, gasp of fresh air.  My heart is there already!

Tuesday, February 16, 2010


The world is wonderful and beautiful and I am enjoying the moment.  What a gorgeous day it is!  The sky is blue with perfectly formed and brilliantly white clouds, floating like bubbles over water, on a vast and limitless canvas of soft blue.  It is bright and breezy and fresh to the senses!  My world is intensly colorful on this day and I am feeling the vibrant shades soak into my skin like fresh blood on white linens, staining my soul with undeniable vigor and energy.   I can still feel the love of Valentines Day lingering in the fresh air and seeping to the marrow of my bones.  I am working diligently on my project to spread the love via handmade cards.  I have already handed out several with great responses!  These have mostly been to those I know and trust however.  Next step: strangers.  I have about a week left before I am in Argentina and I can't wait to be in Argentina!  I can't wait to see my family, to be able to sit back with nothing due, nothing required or expected of me, and the freedom to do absolutely whatever it is I feel like doing.  My plan is to catch up on my reading, work on some of my website and scout the lands with my adventurous cousins.  I am bringing two books with me; Three Cups of Tea and I have yet to choose the second one but I look forward to sitting under the big tree in my Aunts yard, chickens and dogs scurrying, breeze blowing, children squeeling, and me calm and comfortable with a cup of tea and my book, warmed by the sun, heat and dust.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Black Eyed Peas Tampa Concert

So I have been slacking on my posts...I missed two days!  Tuesday I was sick with a fever and headaches so I guess it counted as a good excuse but yesterday...not so much.  I went to the Black Eyed Peas concert, which was amazing and inspiring and fun!  I expected it to be a fun experience and even anticipated the amazing costumes, beautiful choreography, and obviously fantastic music, but what I wasn't expecting was the overwhelming sense of love that came out of the experience.  I left there feeling united and connected with every one of the fans sharing in the experience last night and I not only enjoyed the concert artists but also the beauty of the fans I shared it with.  The BEPs had a beautiful moment where they turned off all the lights and had everyone waving their arms, lighters, cell phones, and other lightup devices.  Looking into the crowd reminded me of laying on the grass and watching the stars at night.  It was like staring into the galaxy.  I can only imagine the sensations that caused the artists themselves knowing that these fans create such beauty and demonstrate so much love just for them!  They expressed their deepest gratitude to all of us in the audience and you could personally feel the sincerity!  They had the whole crowd singing Where is the Love and even when they stopped and walked off the stage the crowd did not stop and the galaxy kept its beautiful song and swaying motions was fantastic, powerful and deeply moving!  I loved it!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

A Dream or a Mania?

My mind is as if in a dream.  I float from thought to thought and each merges into the next and I find myself in a million places at once.  My heart beats in rhythm with my merging visions and I am haunted by the overwhelming number of unaccomplished endeavors and aspirations whipping around in my head, its dizzying sounds and constant varying speeds throwing me out of my comfortable peace and in and out of realities. 

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Vilem's Shoes

There is something strangely captivating about a pair of worn out shoes.  They speak to you like looking into someone's eyes and reading their soul.  They tell you so much about the man who wears them.  This pair was particularly beautiful to me.  The precise, yet frayed and worn, unraveling, stitches, the simple round shape, and even the fading and washed shade of unique blue, truly caught my eye and screamed for my attention.  Vilem is just as unique, as his fantastic shoes, and although you can learn about his character from his shoes, there is still a great amount of mystery to both.  They are perfectly beautiful in all their flaws and yet you can't help but wonder where they have been, what they have seen, how many experiences they have been through.  All this crossed my mind in an instant...all because of a pair of perfectly worn shoes!

My Muse

Today was beautiful!  I woke up completely energized and went to the gym and then straight to Tampa, where I was meeting my favorite artist, Michael Massaro and others for lunch.  I ran into Jim Lennon, a fantastic photographer, who gave me great words of wisdom.  He was basically talking about living in the present, which is something I have been working on.  He reminded me that it is important to not over react.  When you feel a bit of jealousy, he said, remind yourself that that comes from the fact that you love and care about the person you are jealous over and that is that.  Do not allow yourself to throw assumptions beyond that.  Once you have reminded yourself of this, tell yourself to stay in the moment, don't assume a future or past that may or may not happen.  Never react on something you have not seen occur and that you are potentially "making up".  This only leads to problems.  You end up hurting rather than helping the situation.  Instead remember that you care about this person and therefore want to continue to care about this person.  You want to make the most out of the time shared with this person and have that time filled with the best possible moments of love, laughter and overall goodness.   You want your life to be beautifully impacted.  These were Jim Lennon's great words of advise, paraphrased of course. 

Jim was in Susan's office at UT, which is just off to the side of the art Gallery.  I noticed as I walked towards her office, the numerous wonderful photos of her different dance students frozen in time during a moment of perfect performances.  It was inspiring and brought a wave of regret that I never took a dance class.  I am sure I would have loved it!  Susan also teaches the worlds greatest story telling class!  The two of them are such a great inspiration!

The Unversity of Tampa Scarfone/Hartley Gallery had a magnificent display of artwork and I was thrilled to find it open on a Saturday.  The pieces, hung perfectly on the wall, were such an inspiration to me that I immediately felt compelled to spit out works of art in any form.  Then I went to the AMORC Lodge and enjoyed a time in the magnificently harmonious and peaceful temple, where I met up with some great friends, who also led me to ponder my eagerness to harness my talents and create!  I want to write a song.  I want to write a piano piece and sing in accompaniment!  I want to paint.  I want to watercolor paint.  I want to start my several sculpture projects!  I want to have enough work to submit into shows.  I want to get into Galleries!!!

Friday, February 5, 2010

Not Much of A Post

So happy it's Friday so I can sleep in a little tomorrow!  Sleep is pulling at my eyes and hazing my mind.  I want to write a song!  I want to sing and create and explore.  But my energy is not enough.  It will have to wait for tomorrow!  Good Night All

Thursday, February 4, 2010

On all Fours

I'm in a poetic mood.  My mind is wandering and searching deep into my memories.  I am still focused on the idea of exploring my childhood.  After all, it is the basis of all of my artwork up to this point and it is where I still wish to put that focus.  I remember the constant exploring, the great pleasure of finding natures beautiful treasures such as the tiny jumping frogs that were more the size of an ant than a frog, or the raspberries growing naturally underneath the oak trees in our backyard.  Watching mother natures creatures interacting was absolutely fascinating.  I was awe struck by the lizard who waited just the right amount of time before lunging with all its force and body to catch the spider that would be its meal. I lived in my own fairytale world.  The earth was mine and I was hers.  Every event of nature was made just so I could take notice.  The smells captivated me!  The music she created enveloped me and serenaded my soul!  I was enchanted by Mother Nature.  So along with my other February projects, I am adding one more.  Explore my world by getting up close and personal with Mother Nature, utilizing hands and knees if necessary!

Art Frenzy

Took this quote from somewhere and kinda fell in love with it, or at least with the essence of it...
Anybody can look at a pretty girl and see a pretty girl. An artist can look at a pretty girl and see the old woman she will become. A better artist can look at an old woman and see the pretty girl that she used to be. But a great artist - a master - and that is what Auguste Rodin was - can look at an old woman, portray her exactly as she is… and force the viewer to see the pretty girl she used to be… and more than that, he can make anyone with the sensitivity of an armadillo, or even you, see that this lovely young girl is still alive, not old and ugly at all, but simply imprisoned inside her ruined body. He can make you feel the quiet, endless tragedy that there was never a girl born who ever grew older than eighteen in her heart… no matter what the merciless hours have done to her.
Robert A. Heinlein, Stranger in a Strange Land

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Reconnect to Earth

Earlier today I read this article that was meant just for women, and I found it completely embarrassing, disgusting even, at first. But for whatever reason I kept reading it. It captured me and my attention and I began to associate myself with what was being expressed by these words and I felt a deep sense of empowerment from it. Between this article and the movie Avatar, I feel I have found my link with Mother Nature again. I feel a total reconnection with the earth, the trees, and especially the moon. Tonight, I feel as though the moon is shining just for me. It reminds me of my younger years.

I used to be in a constant state of intense connection with the earth and nature around me. I would walk outside, take in a deep, fresh breath of air and smile because I knew that even in that little action I was taking in a part of mother nature and she was nurturing me. I loved her! I talked to her and imagined that with every sway of the trees she was talking back to me, with every whip of the wind she was caressing me, with every ray of the sun beating heat down onto my back she was warming me with her tender love, and with every greeting of her creatures she was sharing some sacred secret with me alone. I felt special outside. Even now I always feel most alive, comfortable and safe outside.

As I child, I was especially attracted to the moon. I was and always have been a night owl of sorts. My most creative moments come to me at night. I was a very reflective child and I had special sacred spaces in my yard outside. In the daytime there were three specific trees for different purposes.

At night I would crawl into this dip in our lawn that was overgrown with grass and unnoticeable to most but was just small enough to fit my body into it like a bean bag chair. I would lay there and take in the moist night air, sifting my fingers through the deep green grass, staring at the moon. She was so beautiful and bright and perfect! I remember the coolness of the grass between my fingertips and toes. I remember the beautiful colors that seemed to radiate out from and rim the moon, and I remember the stars and galaxies that fascinated me to no end!

This brings me to my conclusion for the night...why do we rationalize everything all the time? Why not allow our inner child to come out and play, explore, and simply be. I am going to make a conscious effort to learn from my childhood and see things from that perspective once again. I could go on and on about this topic...a book I read...a quote...etc. but these can wait maybe for tomorrow because, now, I am going to sleep! Good night all...

Monday, February 1, 2010

Spreading the Love

So it’s February 1st and I have decided to make monthly resolutions rather than just yearly, this way I will renew my fervent and adament emotions to my resolutions made at the beginning of the year and truly be able to re-evaluate their importance in my life up to this point. I think it’s a great idea! So for February this is my list of resolutions/projects:

Project 1) Blog at least 5 times a week. It can be about anything really but mainly I think I want to focus on the little things that I notice throughout my day that I find absoultely beautiful! (I wish I had a photo of Vilem’s shoes from this weekend! They were so perfect…)

Project 2) As part of this I am also creating a new blog called My Dusty Box of Memories. This blog will be a 1 year project and I will try to blog on it once a day. Each day I will delve into my photos from the past and post a favorite or one that strikes me to blog about. Watch it all unfold!!!

Project 3) Finish my website layout by the end of this month.

Project 4) Save my money to buy myself Reason 4 and Final Cut Pro. so I can get creative with my media.

Resolutions (this list is a little longer, these are my three big ones):

Take time for me. This resolution carries over from January. This means I have to think about me and what I want and need, including my health. So, my first goal under this category was to lose weight and get healthy physically. I have been doing extremely well in this area! I am eating healthy, drinking more water, and constantly being conscientious of what’s going into my body. I have a 6 days a week workout schedule that includes cardio, core, and strength training as well as stretch and yoga. I am seriously taking care of my hygiene and making sure that I follow a strict skin care regime. Finally I am taking time to go into my sanctum (my sacred space at home) and meditate and reflect and just simply be with myself. Listening to yourself is very important and often times you have so much going on that you don’t actually stop to do that. So far I have lost 10 pounds, started a journal (that is very colorful and full of random odds and in’s that I have found), and I have noticed an obvious change in my skin, especially my face, which has cleared up and softened.

Live in the moment. I am a dreamer, a big dreamer. Over the years I have found that for one reason or another I lost the concept of paying attention. So this resolution is about staying present and truly listening to others. It happens to everyone, your friend is telling you about some event she just encountered and she mentions that she had just dropped off the laundry at the mat on her way to X location and she continues, but your mind stops there because suddenly you remember you needed to drop off your laundry from two days ago and if you don’t do it now…and you are now off in your own world imagining the millions of possibilities. This is me all the time. My mind waunders aimlessly half in daydream mode at all times! Thats bad! I don’t even pay attention in the shower! I used to have a life coach, she was great! She told me to start in the shower; feel the water, smell the soap, feel your fingertips in your hair, etc. Don’t think about anything outside of the present. I am focusing more on the present when it matters though. When I am with others if I allow my mind to waunder without realizing it, I am forcing myself to take the embarrassement and appologize, tell them my mind waundered, I missed what was said, and please repeat. It’s working so far…any suggestions?

And last but not least…Don’t worry be happy. I want to constantly express love and happiness. To jump for joy when I feel like jumping and to throw my arms up and spin when the wind calls me to. I want to be a spreader of light always…