Thursday, March 11, 2010
Buenos Aires is just as I left it; the weather, absolutely beautiful; the breeze, comfortably chilly; and the sun, burning hot. I already have a sun tan from taking a few strolls outside to the park and the market. When I got here it was raining but today is flawless, brilliant with color and life. Magnificent shades of greens and coral pinks surround me, while the mouth watering scent of food fills the air and teases my nose. My cousin is cooking. Preparing the meat with eggs, potatoes and other delicious flavors all mixed together for stuffing the “masa,” to complete the empanadas. I’m sitting with the youngsters chatting away and listening to random songs from my iPhone. Veronica is painting my Aunt’s nails purple with flowers. She already painted mine bright pink and it’s a girl’s house today. No boys allowed today a continuation of the girl’s night out we all shared last night. Nine of us spent the night together. Sprawled out wherever there was space and cushion to sleep! We had a blast, playing cards, sipping mate that we passed around the table, and nibbling on leftovers. Harmless gossips and laughter filled the air till late in the evening! The morning seems peaceful and calm and the conversations carry on as though they never ended. It’s a beautiful day!
Something I realized recently, I don’t talk much about my deepest inner self to any one person in particular, yet I tend to write from deep within about myself to the world on a daily basis, although, even then it is fairly incomplete and veiled. I conceal my personal, weighty emotions and most protected thoughts and keep them under wraps as if it were necessary for my whole world to be clenched tightly between the two valves of my ever beating heart! When I speak, I sound so superficial, talking about such mundane and unimportant things like lip-gloss and the bores of my daily motions. In my mind, I share myself however; I attempt to communicate my heart to the world in a more universal way, without verbal language, in the hopes and belief that maybe, just maybe, there truly is a universal language spoken silently, that I somehow imagine the whole world can hear, though in reality I know most cannot. I imagine that when I come into contact with others, I automatically connect with them, listening to their inner self’s manifestations and I express my love and emotions silently, as though my eyes could give away my whole life story, if only they were listening.
Once I realized all this I decided it was time to make a few adjustments. Although I know imagination is beautiful, necessary and extremely powerful, and I will continue to believe, know, that I can connect with another without words and even send messages to their inner selves, I also know it is important to express my true and most profound self to those around me loudly, verbally, and completely. This will be one of my many new goals to start off my month of March.